150+ Relationship Topics: Deep Questions to Ask Your Partner
Build trust and strengthen your connection through meaningful conversations
12-minute read
For All Couples
Expert-Backed
Silence at dinner. Scrolling phones instead of talking. Sound familiar?
Good relationship topics do more than fill awkward silence. They reveal who you really are. They build trust. They turn surface-level into soul-level.
This guide gives you 150+ conversation starters that actually matter. From fun first-date questions to deep talks that transform relationships. You'll know exactly what to ask and when.
We cover light topics that make you laugh. Heavy ones that make you think. Questions for new couples. Questions for couples who've been together decades. All organized so you can find what you need fast.
What You'll Learn
Why Conversation Topics Matter
50 Getting-to-Know-You Questions
Deep Questions About Values
Fun and Light Topics
Future Planning Questions
Intimacy and Physical Connection
Conflict and Problem-Solving
How to Start Difficult Talks
When to Have Serious Conversations
Red Flags to Watch For
Building Daily Connection
Keeping Conversations Fresh
Why Relationship Topics Actually Matter
Talking isn't just about words. It's how you build intimacy. How you solve problems. How you stay connected when life gets busy.
What Good Conversations Do
• Build trust: You learn who they really are
• Create safety: They know you won't judge
• Reveal compatibility: You see if values match
• Deepen intimacy: Emotional connection grows
• Prevent problems: Small issues get solved before they explode
• Keep things fresh: You don't run out of things to say
What Happens Without Good Communication
Couples who don't talk drift apart. You stop feeling close. Resentment builds. Small annoyances become big fights.
Research shows couples who have deep conversations weekly report higher satisfaction. Those who avoid tough topics break up more often.
Pro Tip
Don't wait for problems to start talking. Make conversation a habit. Weekly check-ins prevent most relationship issues before they start.
50 Getting-to-Know-You Questions
Start here if you're in a new relationship. Or if you feel like you don't really know your partner. These questions reveal personality, values, and what makes someone tick.
About Their Past
1. What was your childhood like?
2. Who influenced you most growing up?
3. What's your earliest memory?
4. How did your parents' relationship shape your views on love?
5. What's something from your past you've never told anyone?
6. What's your biggest regret?
7. Who was your first love? What happened?
8. What hurt you most in past relationships?
9. What did your last relationship teach you?
10. How have you changed in the last five years?
About Their Values
11. What do you value most in life?
12. What does loyalty mean to you?
13. How important is family compared to career?
14. What would you sacrifice for love?
15. What makes someone trustworthy?
16. What's your religious or spiritual beliefs?
17. How do you define success?
18. What causes do you care about?
19. What principles guide your decisions?
20. What line would you never cross?
About How They Think
21. Are you more logical or emotional?
22. How do you handle stress?
23. What scares you most?
24. What makes you angry?
25. How do you deal with failure?
26. What motivates you?
27. How do you recharge after a hard day?
28. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
29. How do you make tough decisions?
30. What keeps you up at night?
About Daily Life
31. What's your perfect day look like?
32. Morning person or night owl?
33. How do you like spending free time?
34. What's your love language?
35. How much alone time do you need?
36. What habits do you want to build?
37. What annoys you most?
38. How clean do you keep your space?
39. Are you a saver or spender?
40. What's your relationship with social media?
About Dreams and Goals
41. Where do you see yourself in five years?
42. What's on your bucket list?
43. What dream have you given up on?
44. What would you do with lottery winnings?
45. What career did you want as a kid?
46. What skills do you want to learn?
47. Where do you want to travel?
48. What legacy do you want to leave?
49. What does your ideal life look like?
50. What would you change about yourself?
25 Deep Questions About Values and Beliefs
These questions get uncomfortable. But they reveal compatibility. Better to know now than five years in.
51. Do you want kids? How many? When?
52. How would you raise children differently than your parents?
53. What role should religion play in our relationship?
54. How do you feel about marriage?
55. Would you sign a prenup?
56. How should we split finances?
57. What's your view on debt?
58. Should both partners work?
59. How involved should in-laws be?
60. What's your view on traditional gender roles?
61. How important is physical attraction long-term?
62. What would make you end a relationship?
63. Is cheating forgivable?
64. What counts as cheating to you?
65. How do you feel about opposite-sex friendships?
66. Would you move cities for your partner's career?
67. How much time apart is healthy?
68. Should partners share passwords?
69. What boundaries matter most to you?
70. How do you want to handle conflict?
71. Should we go to bed angry?
72. How important is sex in a relationship?
73. What political views matter to you?
74. Could you date someone with different politics?
75. What traditions do you want to keep?
Warning
Don't have all these talks at once. You'll overwhelm each other. Spread them out. Let answers sink in. Come back to topics as your relationship grows.
25 Fun and Light Conversation Topics
Not every talk needs to be deep. These keep things playful. Use them on date nights or when you just want to laugh.
76. What's your most embarrassing moment?
77. What celebrity would you want to meet?
78. If you could have any superpower?
79. What's your hidden talent?
80. Favorite childhood TV show?
81. Best vacation you've ever taken?
82. Would you rather be too hot or too cold?
83. What food could you eat every day?
84. Worst date you've been on?
85. What's your karaoke song?
86. Dogs or cats?
87. Beach vacation or mountain trip?
88. What's the best gift you've received?
89. If you wrote a book, what genre?
90. What decade would you visit?
91. Favorite way to waste time?
92. What would your theme song be?
93. Dream dinner party guests?
94. Would you go on a reality show?
95. What conspiracy theory might be real?
96. Best compliment you've gotten?
97. What trend do you hate?
98. Pineapple on pizza?
99. What meme describes your life?
100. If animals could talk, which would be rudest?
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20 Questions About Your Future Together
Where is this going? You need to know. These questions help you see if you're heading the same direction.
101. What does commitment mean to you?
102. When do you want to get married?
103. Where do you see us living?
104. What kind of house do you want?
105. How often should we see family?
106. What holiday traditions matter to you?
107. How should we celebrate birthdays?
108. What financial goals do we have?
109. When should we retire?
110. How do you picture us growing old?
111. What do you want to accomplish together?
112. How will we keep romance alive?
113. What scares you about our future?
114. How would we handle one partner getting sick?
115. Should we keep separate friend groups?
116. How much time should we spend together vs apart?
117. What would make you proudest of our relationship?
118. How should we handle career changes?
119. What legacy do we want as a couple?
120. In 50 years, what do you want to remember?
15 Topics About Intimacy and Physical Connection
Sex matters. So does physical affection. These conversations feel awkward but they prevent years of frustration.
121. What makes you feel desired?
122. How important is physical touch?
123. What's your ideal frequency for intimacy?
124. What turns you on?
125. What turns you off?
126. How do you like to be kissed?
127. What fantasies do you have?
128. How adventurous are you in bed?
129. What boundaries do you have physically?
130. How should we handle mismatched drives?
131. What nonsexual touch means most?
132. How important is cuddling?
133. What makes you feel most connected?
134. How do you want to be pursued?
135. What have past partners done that you loved or hated?
Why this matters: Sexual incompatibility ends relationships. Talk about it early. Be specific. Be honest. Don't assume you'll figure it out later.
Good sex starts with good communication. These talks feel vulnerable but they build incredible intimacy.
15 Topics About Conflict and Problem-Solving
You will fight. How you fight determines if you last. These questions help you fight fair and solve problems together.
136. How did your family handle conflict?
137. Do you yell or shut down during fights?
138. What fighting styles frustrate you?
139. How long do you need to cool off?
140. Should we set rules for arguments?
141. What topics are off-limits in fights?
142. How should we apologize?
143. What does forgiveness look like?
144. How do we know when to get help?
145. What makes you feel heard during disagreements?
146. Should we involve friends in our problems?
147. How do we prevent small issues from building up?
148. What's your biggest pet peeve about me?
149. What do I do that hurts you?
150. How can we fight better?
How to Actually Start These Conversations
Knowing what to ask is one thing. Knowing when and how is another. Here's your roadmap.
Pick the Right Time
Good times:
• During a calm walk or drive
• After a good meal when you're both relaxed
• Weekend mornings when there's no rush
• During long car rides
• While doing an activity together (cooking, folding laundry)
Bad times:
• Right before bed
• When either person is hungry or tired
• During stressful work periods
• Around extended family
• Via text message
Start Gently
Use soft openers like:
• "I've been thinking about something..."
• "Can we talk about our future?"
• "I'm curious about your thoughts on..."
• "Something's been on my mind..."
• "I'd love to understand how you feel about..."
Listen More Than You Talk
Ask a question. Then actually listen. Don't plan your response while they're talking. Don't interrupt. Don't judge.
Repeat back what you heard. "So you're saying..." This shows you're paying attention and helps avoid misunderstandings.
Make It Safe
People open up when they feel safe. Create safety by:
• Staying calm even if answers surprise you
• Not getting defensive
• Thanking them for being honest
• Sharing your own vulnerability first
• Avoiding blame language
Common Questions About Relationship Topics
Start Talking Today
You have 150+ questions now. Pick one. Ask it tonight. See what happens.
Good relationships aren't built in big moments. They're built in small conversations. Daily check-ins. Questions that make you think. Talks that make you feel closer.
Don't wait for the perfect time. There isn't one. Start messy. Start awkward. Just start.
Your relationship will thank you. Save this list. Use it often. Let conversations transform your connection.
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